Things I hate

I have many pet peeves, but one thing that grates on my nerves, is when it is clear that I am engrossed in a project, or doing something else, and somebody decides to ask an in-depth question that is completely out of the blue and expect a well-thought out and eloquent answer. Along the same lines, I don’t like when someone has been talking for an hour or more, and then asks me minutes after to summarize. I need time to digest what happened, look at my notes, or go through whatever handouts I have and remember the specific thoughts I had with each line. If I look like I'm concentrating, I probably am, so take a hint and don't bother me. Thanks.

Thoughts on Prayers

I've been thinking lately about the verse in James 5:16 that says, "Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." It's the last portion that I don't entirely understand. To me, it's like saying, "The passionate, effectual prayer is the one that actually effects things." So what does "effectual" mean? When my research finally makes sense, I'll put up my explanation.

But the whole verse got me thinking about prayer in general. Sometimes I don't pray because I don't have anything to say. There are days when I don't feel like talking to anyone; things are going well, and nothing pressing happened during the day, so I don't speak. No need in wasting breath. It's the same way with God. The problem is that we're supposed to always pray, so I wind up sitting there like, "Well, God. I know I'm supposed to be talking to you, but I have nothing to say. So um, yea. Hello." So then I don't pray for three days, and by the third day, I feel empty, like I can feel that the Spirit has stopped communication. Of course, that's when something happens, and I go to God on my face asking Him to forgive me and to help me. Even if things stay the way they are, I feel like I missed something that God was going to say to me if I'd only kept talking to Him. It's not like God will reveal your life plan to you the one time that month you decide to talk to Him. When I pray consistently, I understand how to react to things; I feel the Spirit directing me, calming me when I get too upset, letting me know when I'm wrong or right.

See, I know the benefits of a relationship, but for some reason, I just can't get over that hump when I come to it. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Bills, Bills, Bills

So I'm talking with the other interns, and one of them says that she felt bad yesterday because she was too embarrassed to return something to Best Buy that she'd just bought, so she went to Target and spent like $200. First, I'm like, "Why couldn't you just wait till tomorrow or go to another store?" "I was going to, but I got lost." "You have a GPS system in your car. How did you get lost?" "I don't know, it just said destination reached, but I couldn't see how to get to it." *blank stare* I'm thinking, are you sure you made the dean's list at your school? I just let that one go, because she says some ditzy stuff sometimes. So then I asked,"No really, how much did you spend?" "My total came to 193 and change." *side eye* $200? Really? I mean, I love Target just as much as the next girl, and retail therapy is real, but to just go and drop that much because you couldn't find another store is ridiculous. And stupid. We don't get paid enough to be ballin like that. So we start asking her about what she has to pay and come to find out she doesn't have to pay for ANYTHING. Her parents pay her rent, utilities, tuition, and clothes (as long as they're "school-related," which means that they pay for everything). She basically only pays for her alcohol and $40 sushi dinners. Her parents want her to invest her money and start a retirement fund, and not have to worry about paying bills. But what good is building a nest egg if you won't have a nest to put it in when you turn 65? I'm not hatin cause her parents pay for stuff, because my parents are willing to pay for a lot. But if you're gonna take care of everything, at least teach them how to manage some kind of money, or you will be visiting your children in the poorhouse.

I'm too young for this

When I'm at school, I (speed)walk everywhere-to class, the library across campus, the meetings I'm forever late to, and even down the 24 flights in my highrise when the elevator breaks. But at home, I drive everywhere. And when I get to where I'm going, I sit. I also eat 3 solid meals (well more like 2.5), and drink water when I feel like it. But at school, I go through those 24-pack of water bottles and little juice bottles pretty quickly, and eat smaller meals about 5 times a day. So what does all this add up to? Five extra pounds when I'm home. That I have to lose in less than a month for my cousin's wedding. Silly me bought my bridesmaid dress when I first came home, a size smaller than I normally am during the summer, and now I can't breathe in the dress. Isn't this fantastic. I thought things like this weren't supposed to happen until you were like 30 or something. The sad thing is I have no motivation to work out. I used to be a workout fiend when I played basketball, running 3 miles a day, lifting weights, THEN going to practice. But that died when I left high school. I mean, why work that hard if you don't have to? I associate home with vacations and office jobs now, not a place to sweat it out in the basement. But I have to do something, cause I will end up passing out standing up there in front of that church lol

On the plus side, my booty's bigger :)

Networking is usually not my thing...

...but I really need to get on that. My internship has these managment meet-and-greet things where people high up in the company make a little presentation to us on what they do, how they got there, etc. They're usually pretty interesting, but today, the woman speaking became my hero in the first five minutes of her presentation. First of all, she's black, and I've seen about 5 black people in the entire company, and most of them are in the warehouse or those "grunt work" positions where you don't really see them that much. But this woman was the vice president of financial services for the ENTIRE company (let's call it BBS). Secondly, she was genuinely excited about working at BBS. She'd "never been bored one day" even though she's been there for 20 years!! Anyway, her entire presentation was inspirational, one of those that make you feel like you could conquer the world. I want to be her when I grow up! So me being my quiet and shy self said not a word to her after the meeting. In my head, I said I wasn't awake enough yet to say anything, but really, even if I had been awake, I had no idea what to say. I mean, people tell you all the time that networking is key, but I never got the logistics of it. So you meet somebody and find something to talk about, which is a ridiculous battle for me, cause I don't do small talk very well. Then you need to find a reason to keep in contact with them and get them to give you their card. You send a thank you, and then what? Do you send emails every now and then like "hi, just wanted to remind you that I exist. Please give me a job if you have one"? I have trouble keeping up with friends, let alone people that I don't even know.

So I'd scheduled a meeting to talk to the recruiter, and he told me in a nutshell that I need to get out of my shell and be more aggressive (is it sad that I only remember how to spell this word because of cheerleaders from high school? B-E A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E!!- but I digress). I have a lot going for me since I worked in the profit and non-profit sector, I'm black, female, and an Ivy League undergrad (yes Ivy League was the last thing he said. What does THAT tell you?) I came away with a lot that I need to change, like my approach to approaching people. I like to sit back and observe, see how everyone interacts with each other and from there see where I can fit in and who I might be able to trust. But you rarely have that much time to analyze everything, so there will be a time where you will be vulnerable to mishaps. Being quiet got me places in elementary school, and I spoke up enough during high school, but I'm about to be a senior in college. That baby stuff should've been long gone. Not saying that I'm gonna become a completely different person, but I have to change something. Bring out my professional Sasha Fierce lol. But I promise you by 9 AM tomorrow, I will have contacted that woman, cause I gotta get on this...

First Post!!

I’ve been reading blogs avidly for the last year or so, and in the last few months, I really wanted to start my own-which is weird since I hate writing in my journal. But since I’m online for hours a day, I figured I may as well carve my own little niche on the internet. Whatever comes into my mind on any given day is what I’ll post, and since I can be a little random, that could be anything from pop culture, friendships, relationships, to religion and the meaning of life. Speaking of religion, I am striving to have a great relationship with God, and not simply follow a religion; traditions and hearsay that are NOT in the Bible aren’t really that important to me. I try not to separate my faith from my real life, but please believe that I am flawed, and frequently make mistakes and do some on-purpose things too, so cut me some slack. That being said, enjoy!